Agenda

Why You Have Nothing to Prove

            Promposals, gender-reveals, engagement shoots, baby-date countdowns, anniversary pictures— it’s all over the internet. It’s all over and you may not have any of it. Should you have it? And if you do, should yours be more like that?

I think social media plays a giant factor in today’s modern relationships. We can easily become obsessed with someone’s seemingly perfect relationship through a VSCO filter. Millions of couples broadcast their marriages across blogs, YouTube channels, their Instagram feeds. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being public and open about your relationship. Post pictures of your boyfriend! Let people into your lives. The internet could use more positive, loving stories to flood out all the hate. However, if you’re not one of those people, and you’re sitting on your couch at night wondering why he never asks you to be in his snapchats, don’t think you’re wrong.

True love, I’m realizing no matter how cliché of a phrase, has no agenda; it has nothing to prove. As some passage in the Bible says, “[love] is not pompous… it does not boast.” The intimacies of your relationship do not need to be broadcasted for validity. If someone is telling you to “make it Facebook official” or constantly reprimanding you for him not posting because he doesn’t “want people to know,” don’t listen. If you know in your gut that what you have is real, solid, and lasting, who cares what anyone else says. Also, if you’re going to post something about your relationship, do it for the right reasons. Him kissing your cheek in a snap story may make her jealous, may make you feel good for a second, but I promise… it’s not going to feel good for long. Showcase your relationship because you want to showcase love, not because you are bitter or vengeful.

However, I will admit, that sometimes someone not wanting to be on social media can mean they don’t want people to know about you. If she is only allowing you to come over after midnight, won’t let you see her phone, won’t take a picture, won’t talk to you when you pass each other… maybe then it’s time to reevaluate. Now, there’s nothing wrong with keeping a private relationship, but being someone’s secret is not what you deserve.

So tag him in a post. Mention him in a tweet. Vlog your entire road trip. Do whatever feels right for you and your partner. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that what you have isn’t what you believe and know it to be. You have nothing to prove.