You Didn’t Just Lose the Love of Your Life

“How on earth are you supposed to get over someone that felt World Series Grand Slam Championship big”

I was sitting down eating my dinner this evening, watching Gilmore Girls (as per usual), when I heard a really great quote from Luke Danes “my life doesn’t feel real without you in it.” And I know, trust me, that that’s how it feels right now if you’ve just broken up with someone. Life just… doesn’t feel real. Everything is auto-pilot– making the coffee, getting dressed, going to work, turning on the tv, pulling down the covers. You’re there; you’re doing it, but none of it actually seems real. It would be cliche of me to say that it feel likes you’re tumbling in some sort of nightmare that you swear you’re going to wake up from, but that’s just the thing about it. It all feels like a bad, bad dream.

I’ve written a lot in the past about break-ups that were messy, awful, and unproportional. But what do you do when you don’t hate that person? When it really was no one’s fault? When part of you, in the thickest, worst moments, wishes he just would have cheated on you or called you a bitch or something so you could hate him. But just like another great line from another great cinematic moment states, “but I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you at all.”

How on earth are you supposed to get over someone that felt World Series Grand Slam Championship big? The one that felt game over, case-closed, we’re going to the chapel.

Here’s the thing though: you didn’t just lose the love of your life. I promise. There’s nothing more annoying, self-deprecating, or just plain wrong as thinking that somehow you’re “forever alone” now. I know it might seem like “this happens all the time,” and in my most emotional moments, I’ve even went there. I’ve blurted that out. I’ve played the pity card because after what seems like the tenth baseball bat blow into your heart, it’s hard not just blame it on “the usual.” I know that in the initial wreckage it seems as if you could never possibly be that happy again, or that you’ll never find someone like him/her again, but wallowing too long in the deep end can cause you to drown.

What do I like to think about? Imagine this: you loved this person, like really, truly, Robin Williams talking about his wife in Good Will Hunting loved this person. Now, if you thought that was the most in love you could possibly ever be in just imagine what’s coming. Are you kidding me? How lucky are you! You just got to live in the most amazing love you’ve ever had, but you get to do it all over again with the person who will be end game. And who knows, maybe it will be the person you just lost, but at a different time.

Trust in God, if that’s what you believe. If you know in your heart that God has this huge magical plan for you, trust that. Trust that he has someone for you. Pull a Stella from How I Met Your Mother and believe in the line “she’s out there, Ted. And she’s coming as fast as she can.” Trust, believe, have faith in whatever mechanism you want, but just know that there is love out there for you because you in turn have so much love to give. You will love again, and it will be so much more than you ever imagined.

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  • Reply
    August 2, 2017 at 2:13 am

    This was written so well. I’m still getting over a really tough break up and you have truly changed my perspective on so much. Thank you, so much.

    • Reply
      August 2, 2017 at 3:15 pm


      I’m so very glad that I could help. Always remember, you will get so much love because you in turn have so much love to give! 🙂 I hope you find more solace, soon.

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