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Black Lives Matter

I have been trying to process the news that has been flooding every media consumption outlet I have. I have anxiety that is triggered by feeling overwhelmed, and man is this… overwhelming. However, just as I have to tackle my anxiety, I have to tackle this: you can’t back down because it’s uncomfortable, sickening, or tough.

George Floyd.

I know there are more names that I could countlessly list of those black men/women/non-binary who were unjustifiably murdered under the blanket of “justice” but this is the one that caused the tipping point in America so his is the one I’ll use now. What I feel about his murder is just grief, and I don’t even know this man personally, so I cannot begin to imagine what his family feels and I just pray that they can find solace in same way and heal. But, as we should all know by now, prayers are not enough.

As a white woman who has every single privilege under the sun, I don’t know what to do. I am reading black resources, I am engaging in conversations in my workplace and in my home, I am standing for support. I am listening. I am learning. But the reason I’ve been halted to write this post is that I just genuinely don’t ever feel like I’m doing enough. Another symptom of my high-functioning anxiety is being over productive and feeling as though I have never quite done enough.

I’m stuck in this dichotomy of “this does not feel like my battle to fight because I am not the one being treated unfairly so is it my place to participate?” and the “I have to use my privilege and power to stick up for those who cannot.”

I’ve always felt like my gift for writing was to perhaps give voice to something or someone that/who cannot. But I don’t know how to be a voice for black people other than to say I am here, I am trying to do what I can, and I will donate, petition, protest, and vote for change for you.

And that I will no longer be idle when I hear or see blatant racism in front of me. Just because my neighbor seemingly has no power doesn’t make it right that they say/think the way that they may. I will stop it when I see it. I will make sure that person knows they are wrong.

Lastly, I will stick up for my black scholars who are too young to perhaps fully understand but not to young at all to feel the scorn that prejudice forces upon them. They are mine to educate and inspire to make change in this world, and I will not allow racist ideals to block them from achieving everything that they can and will.

I will leave these here. Do what you know you have to do. Enough is enough.

This link is a list of books to read to help you understand systemic racism

The petition for George Floyd

A comprehensive list of places you can donate.

There is much more that I can share, but I do not want to inundate this post with far too many sources. These are what I found to be most productive for me as a white woman to participate in. I will also take more suggestions in the comments below.

I love the people in this country. With change, we will heal.

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